вчера, ггуляя, обнаружил забавную кинушку, отрывок презентации Win Длиннорогого в далёком 2003-м... насколько я понял, вся презентация была побита на 3 части. Но во второй части, в место запланированного чего-то там, показали кинушку, в которой Балмер породирует Нэо под кличкой Стиво, и его допрашивают агенты IBM, дальше раздаётся звонок по настенному телефонному аппарату, и один из агентов даёт Стиво трубку, через которую последний ретируится в какое-то подземелье, где его ждёт Билл. Билл начал расказывать про сон, который кажется реальностью ... (тут фильм обрывается, дальше я читал по текстам выложенным кое где) и предлогает ему 2 таблетки, первая, синяя, огромная, с огромной надписью IBM и головой TUX-а, вторая красная таблетка. Балмер не смог выпить синюю и пришлось пить красную... Понеслось. Гейтся начал рассказывать как он оставит трон, и что Балмеру предстоит встретиться с Оракулом (Oracle), на что Балмер ответил, что запросто с ним встретится...
Хочу заметить, что вместо оружия у них на полках Винды и гамбургеры, к чаму бы это...
(скриншоты можно найти сдесь http://www.math.sfu.ca/~cbm/blog/2003/MS_m...rix_spoof.html)
Вот текст с сайта транскрипции:
December 02, 2003
Microsoft Matrix transcript
Microsoft has asked various people who posted photos and video clips of the company's Matrix spoof to remove them from their sites, citing the restriction on photography after the initial minute of Bill Gates' Comdex speech. Those people have obliged, which means relatively few people outside of the 7,000 or so who saw the speech have seen the full video. (The company's official transcript also omits any specifics about it.)
In the meantime, though, the spoof has been brought up by various people seeking to derive from it insights into Microsoft's psyche. (Including once in the comments to a Linux-related post on this weblog.) So, in lieu of the video, I went back and transcribed the film's dialogue from my audio recording of the speech, adding in brackets my general recollection of what was happening on screen. (Here again is Reed Stevenson's recap, as well.) Reading the transcript doesn't quite compare to seeing the film itself, but for now it'll have to do.
Gates, on stage, introducing clip: "Now, I get to spend a lot of time making sure that this drive towards these ambitious scenarios is really understood, and there's a strong commitment to it, all the way, throughout all the developers at Microsoft and in our partners, that build on top of the platform. I'm focused on making sure that strong commitment is really there, that people can see that vision. And I put together a little video that shows one way that working with one person at Microsoft I really did get the message across. Let's take a look."
[Film begins, first scene opens in stark interrogation room, with Steve Ballmer and agents on opposite sides of a table.]
Agent, speaking slowly: "We've had our eye on you for some time now, Mr. Ballmer. It seems you've been living an alternate life. In one life, you're Steven A. Ballmer, CEO for a respectable software company. The other life is lived in computers, where you go by the hacker alias, "Steve-o." One of these lives has a future. The other does not. Let's have a look, shall we?"
[Attempts to get computer to work, pounds on keys, camera angle shifts to show it's a Linux box. Comdex crowd laughs and claps. On screen, in interrogation room, Ballmer watches, amused.]
Agent, hushed aside to assistant: "I need you to write a new device driver and recompile the kernel."
Agent to Ballmer: "We know that you've been contacted by a certain visionary. My colleagues believe that I am wasting my time with you, but I believe you wish to do the right thing. [Phone rings.] We're willing to wipe the slate clean, give you a fresh start. [Phone still ringing] Would you get that? [irritated, to assistant]."
[Assistant answers, hands phone to Ballmer]: "It's for you."
[There's a zapping sound, and Ballmer disappears. The film shifts to a new scene, with Gates as the Laurence Fishburne character, Morpheus, wearing Matrix-style garb and sunglasses, approaching Ballmer from across a darkened room.]
Gates: "At last. Welcome Steve-o. ... Have you ever had a dream that was so real, you weren't sure you were dreaming? Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Matrix is, but I can show you, and after this, there is no turning back. You take the big blue pill [shows him pill with IBM and Linux logos] and this story ends. You wake up in your bed, and armies of consultants are running around the IT world. You take the red pill [with Microsoft logo], you stay in Wonderland, and I show you how to ensure innovation frees the [inaudible]."
Gates continues: "For years, I've watched them do it. They'd send thousands of consultants into the world to convince companies to outsource their information technology. But we see the world differently. Steve-o, you will deliver software breakthroughs that will enable the seamless sharing of information between desktops, servers and all types of devices. It's time for us to take it back. Our first step is to visit the Oracle."
Ballmer: "I think I can safely say we can just skip that step."
Gates: "Right. Let's get straight to your training."
Ballmer: "But they've got armies of consultants!"
Gates: "Free your mind, Steve-o. In here, we can equip you with the tools you need to succeed in your fight against those armies. Clear your mind. Think about what you need."
[More activity, Matrix-style fight scene ensues, with Gates and Ballmer doing their own imitations of the acrobatic stunts. Comdex crowd laughs.]
Gates: "Ow! ? You are the one. It is time for you to deliver the truth. ? Steve-o, you've got what you need to deliver every new innovation to our customers. It's time for them to unlock their potential. It's time for a change."
[Rock music blares, Ballmer, in Matrix garb, walks confidently from phone booth, evidently on Microsoft's Redmond campus. Video clip ends.]
Gates, back live on Comdex stage: "Well, we got Steve indoctrinated." Crowd laughs.
[Addendum 12/03: Since posting this, I've been alerted to at least two sites out there with pictures of the movie, at least for the time being: This site, apparently a mirror of the Tablet PC fan's gallery that was taken down, and Paul Thurrott's Windows SuperSite, which has two good shots of the movie among its Comdex Day One images.]
Posted by Todd Bishop at December 2, 2003 11:41 AM